Monday, 25 March 2013

Newsrevue last night

so last night I had the pleasure of going to see Newsrevue

really blown away how talented the performers were and how good the show was.

was really nice to be see my sketch being performed (for the 3rd week running), was a bit of an added bonus :)

definititely gave me a better idea of how the show goes and what works in the show and what doesn't.   also gave me a better idea of the performance styles.

i look forward to going to seeing many more shows and hopefully getting many more sketches on, hopefully :)

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Some further points about improving my sketch writing


I've stepped back a little bit for a second thinking about my sketches.

Some quick thoughts:

Good Points

  • Getting better at finding punchlines (probably got a bit to go yet)
  • Getting much better at finding the sound of the character.
  • Lots of funny jokes throughout the dialogs

Bad Points

  • Not really creating an action / scene.   I still tend towards funny dialog.   (I think this will be my next focus).    Creating drama etc
  • Not really moved out of the non-topical arena (struggling to write non-topical sketches)
  • Writing for existing characters (need to learn to create my own)

Will post some actual sketches soon!!!

This weekend

This has been a pretty interesting weekend so far.    Had some nice chill out time.   Listened to some podcasts. 

Discovered Friday Football Special earlier this week on the British Comedy Guide Forums.   Even submitted a sketch to them yesterday.   Will post the details of it later (yeah, i know, I always say that0.

Even more bizarrely I wrote a sketch on Noel Gallagher and Emeli Sande.   I decided that it was way too rude (a lot of swearing / noel gallagher) for Newsjack but I thought it would fit in with Newsrevue. I was pretty pleased with the sketch (especially since I haven't written anything in 2 weeks).

However I did the weirdest thing, I put a strange twist on it and managed to rewrite a version that would work for newsjack.   I actually think the cleaned up version is much funnier.   I submitted the new version to newsrevue also but if I suspect if they do like the sketch they'll probably go for the first one as it's more in their style.    However both shows probably won't take either version, lol.

I will post up the sketches soon (lol). promise.

Other things I did.

Listened to the Live From Kirrin Island podcasts whilst I chilled by the pool
Read some more of bossypants.

Saturday, 16 March 2013

Sketch writing: Taking stock!!!

So i started sketch writing at the beginning of february.   In-fact the first week of newsjack.   So i think it's about one month.

In that time, I have written:
  • 12 topical sketches (which have either been submitted to newsjack, treason show or newsrevue)
  • 1 non-topical sketch
  • 4 song parodies

I took one week off from writing sketches

of those 12 topical sketches:

  • One is currently being performed at Newsrevue
  • One was definitely performed but cut at the edit of Newsjack
  • One may have been performed and cut at the edit of Newsjack
  • One was close to making it at newsrevue (was a sketch called pope factor but was heavily based on the judges), newsrevue contact me about it as they wered doing a different type of pope factor sketch, said they couldn't use it for that reason.   however asked for suggestions on different characters.  one of my suggestions (gok wan) was developed by them (i didn't write it and it was probably just a coincidence).
i have no idea if treason show used any of my sketches (a little frustrating not seeing a running order).

As far as i am aware nobody has used my songs :(

Anyways.   I feel that this is amazing progress for my first month of sketch writing.   I will try and post up sketches as I remember.

Whooo, sketch writing, love it.   on that point, time to write some :)

I'm a professional sketch writer now (sorta)

so for the last 2 weeks newsrevue have been playing one of my sketches.   It's called :D

Unfortunately I'm in India at the moment, so I can't see it being performed.   Hopefully it will make one more week and I can maybe see it next weekend

However,  I am on top of the world about this.

Song Parody: Mr Ed

So this is a pretty obvious song parody.   I don't think anyone used it, lol.   I am really bad at these parodies.   They only seem to keep me entertained, ah well.

I submitted to both treason show and newsrevue.   Newsrevue didn't use it, no idea about the treason show (no running order)

This one is on the horsemeat scandal in the UK.

Mr Ed

a meatball's a horse, of course of course
and no one can be sure of the horses source
that is of course, it'sa Findus horse
You ate some Mister Ed

Go to a race course and pick your horse
and if he cannot manage to fin-ish first
can always be the entree course
Death to Mister Ed

People snack-it-ti-snack their meal
and hope that it's fillet
but wait until findus reveal
your pancakes used to neigh

a meatball's a horse, of course of course
and no longer can mcdonalds be called the worst
you never ate a drugged up horse
well, thanks findus…

I ate Mister Ed

Song Parody: he touched you whoops

something is telling me i can't get the hang of this song parody lark.   I submitted this onto to the treason show, no idea if they used it or not.   I don't get the running order and I'm in India just now, so I can't see the show.

Anyways, this is a parody of "we saw your boobs" by seth mcfarlane during the oscars.   It's based on the Lord Rennard scandal.

hope someone likes it

he touched you whoops
he touched you whoops
at the time, we can't recall, he touched you whoops

Bridget Harris he touched you whoops at conference,
alison smith, after wine
Councillor Susan, he touched you whoops in peterborough
it's something that lord rennard does deny

Unnamed Woman, he touched you whoops but we were doubting
Alison Smith, you said to Jo and Paul
Bridget Harris, you told ros scott
sorry that we did diddly squat,
but nick doesn't seem to remember bugger all

he touched you whoops
he touched you whoops
yeah, you already told us, he touched you whoops

sandra gidley, you warned us whoops in nicks abode
and we forgot because we are morons
menzies campbell, he also forgot to mention
betty rubble he touched you on the flintstones

yet another woman, he touched you whoops in the office
nick clegg, you seem a bit confused
you may have told lord rennard good bye
but  you don't have any idea why
though you kinda think that you probably might have knew

he touched you whoops
he touched you whoops

Sunday, 3 March 2013

2 new song parodies

Haven't written any sketches this weekend yet.   Been chilling out.

I did write 2 new song parodies this week.    One of the songs has been submitted to the treason show and newsrevue.   The other song, I am just finishing up and will submit later today.   Will post the lyrics to these songs later on this week.

Will probably sit down and try and write some sketches in a few minutes

Song: Eat all around Lit

So I wrote this song parody about a month ago, submitted to both newsrevue and the treason show.   Didn't make it on either show.   It's not a massively funny song but I kinda liked it.   It was based on the idea by Eric Pickles to put coffee shops in libraries like they do with book stores.

The original song was by Emile Sande and the tune is to Read All about It Part III.

Anyways, as I said, I can't sing so can't record it but hope someone likes it :))

Eat all around Lit

You've got the words to change a nation
but you're biting no bun
You've spent a life time stuck in silence
when you could hear a till be rung
if no-one's ever here there'll be no librarian
so costa, costa,
costa, costa

You've got a tum as big as pickles
so why let your hunger be tamed
Baby, we're a little thirsty
let your bladder be enflamed
you've got a flat white in the shadows
so stop hiding biscotti
costa, costa

I want icing, I want it now
I want ice-cream till the cows dry out
so put it in all of the libraries
I get hungry <pronounced hungray>
they can eat all around lit
eat all around lit oh

And now we're munching up some super fudge
While we read some Judy Blume
Drinking some more espresso, yeah
And listening to this tune
This municipal building is now living
And not another urban ruin
so costa, costa
costa,  costa

Lets get the librarian or the barista
To bring our drinks again
it's about time we got more caffeine, as you are just my friend
I've got fifty shades of grey,
theres no need to go to bed
Costa, Costa

I want icing, I want it now
I want ice-cream till the cows dry out
so put it in all of the libraries
I get hungry
they can eat all around lit
eat all around lit oh

yeah, we're all reading 'bout liar pants armstrong
who's biography is classed as fiction.
now we're finally hearing the real thing.
So grab a bun, sit with me and drink this
Yeah its a wonderful, chemical confession
And the drugs are listed by dewey decimal
And now we finally found what is missing
So grab a bun, sit with me and drink this

I want icing, I want it now
I want ice-cream till the cows dry out
so put it in all of the libraries
I get hungry
they can eat all around lit
eat all around lit oh

I want icing, I want it now
I want ice-cream till the cows dry out
so put it in all of the libraries
I get hungry
they can eat all around lit
eat all around lit oh

Song: Tribute

I wrote this song about a month ago and submitted it both to Newsrevue and The Treason Show.   It never made it on either shows.   Rather than letting it gather virtual dust on my hard disk,  I thought I might post it up here.

I can't sing for toffee, so i can't record it.   It was written at the time when the government was performing a review of the conservate / liberal coalition.   The parody is to the tune of Tribute by Tenacious D.    Tbh, it probably doesn't sing well out loud but it was my first attempt

Anyways, hope someone likes it :))


This is the greatest and best coalition in the world.  tribute.

About 3 years ago, me and my brother Dave here….
we was walking down a long election road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny Queen at the end of the road.

And she said:
"Make the best government in the world or I'll kick your balls"

Well me and Dave,… we looked at each other, and we each said…

And we said the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The best speech in the world,
It was the best speech in the world.

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two,
two and one make three,
It was policy

Once every hundred-thousand years or so
When the parliaments hung
And the PM won't go
And Dave did blowwwwww

Needless to say,
the queen was stunned
a quick stamp with her royal seal
and the government was formed
she asked us (snort):
"(snort) BE you Blairs Girls?"
And we said,
"Nay, we're dave and clegg"
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahn,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not the greatest government in the world, no.  This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember the greatest government in the world.  No!!
This is a tribute, oh
To the greatest coalition in the world,

All right!!! <nick clegg> (and centre)
It was the greatest coalition in the world!!
All right!
And it was the best mother fuckin' coalition.
The greatest government in the world!!!


And the peculiar thing is this my friends"
the coalition that we formed on that fateful night, it didn't actually sound anything like this government.

This is just a tribute,  you gotta believe it
And I wish you were there!!
Just a matter of opinion

And a haha fuck!!
Good god, clegg loving'
It's no surprise to find you can't stop it
I'm Liberal Democrat, I found!
Rich motherfucker conservative
oooooh aaah

All right! <nick clegg> (errrr centre)
All right!!