Saturday, 6 April 2013

Sketch: Missile Defence

And another one that no-one picked up.   Not surprised on this one to be honest:

CHIEF SCIENTIST:   So, we’ve been told we need to bolster our missile defences to prevent a possible nuclear attack from North Korea.   What ideas do we have?

Everyone sounds confused
ALL:                              Errr, urrrrr

CHIEF SCIENTIST:   Come on we must have some ideas.   Just say what you think.   No idea is too stupid.

SCIENTIST 1:             How about a giant fishing net that catches the missiles.
CHIEF SCIENTIST:   Okay, no idea is too stupid (beat) apart from that idea
Anything else?

SCIENTIST 2:             How about a giant tennis net, that bounces the missile all the way back to North Korea?
CHIEF SCIENTIST:   And then a roadrunner goes meep meep.
Does anyone have an idea that doesn’t assume WylE Coyote is firing acme missiles at us.

SCIENTIST 1:             We could rig the GPS satellites so it thinks that Alaska is where France is.
CHIEF SCIENTIST:   Won’t Britain be annoyed?
SCIENTIST 1:             Nope they hate the little cheese munchers as much as we do
CHIEF SCIENTIST:   No, I mean annoyed about the nuclear fallout
SCIENTIST 1:             There wouldn’t be any
According to Britain for them to be affected by a giant fallout cloud, we’d need to hit
And we don’t know where that is anyways.  
We think it might be in Nebraska

CHIEF SCIENTIST:   So what’s the worst-case scenario if the missile shield fails.
SCIENTIST 2:             Well, at the worst.  It’ll hit Alaska.   And will kill thousands of errr (..) bears
CHIEF SCIENTIST:   Doesn’t Sarah Palin do that anyways?

SCIENTIST 2:             And the fallout will make the land totally uninhabitable
CHIEF SCIENTIST: Errrrrr, Why are we spending money on this again?
Just build the tennis net.

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