Saturday, 6 April 2013

sketch: russian meteorites

Another one of my early sketches.   This was at the time of the russian meteorites.  I submitted this to newsjack.   wasn't used :(

JUSTIN:                       A meteorite has crashed into the earth injuring hundreds of people.   We now cut across to Chelyabinsk for their reactions on seeing the meteorite.

<These should be done in the style of small interview snippet quotes.   Almost JackApp Style>.   Any cast member that can do a bad Russian accent could do the snippets.

RUSSIAN GIRL:         My son came into the room and said, “Mother, I can see a large bright glowing rock in the distance”.   I said aleksandr, do not worry, this is normal.   It’s just one of the rocks by the nuclear factory.

RUSSIAN GUY:          This meteorite has destroyed my factory.   I will now have to send my daughter into prostitution.   But worse, I will have to get a job with CompareTheMarket.   You stupid English, you think we all sound like meerkats.

RUSSIAN GUY:          At first we thought North Korea was testing their new long distance missile launch system, a giant catapult.

RUSSIAN GIRL:         My son was shouting, “the sky is falling, the sky is falling”.  We did not believe him at first, he is always making up stories.  We said the sky is not falling, chicken little kiev.

RUSSIAN GUY:          Maybe it’s time to send Bruce Willis into space and after Die Hard 5, he should never return again.

RUSSIAN GUY:          I think God should be held accountable for what he has done.   We should overthrow his regime.   Until he is brought to justice, I will no longer drink wine or tiny pieces of bread.

RUSSIAN GIRL:         I heard Vladimir Putin wrestled the rock from the sky and crushed it with his bare hands.   He has saved us all.

© 2013 Chris Hay - All rights reserved

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